Legends of the Hidden Temple Talk 1995: A Brief Conversation between Host Kirk Fogg and Aztec Temple God, Olmec.

Kirk: Hey Olmec! Do you think you could open up this door quick?

Olmec: For whom attempts passage!

Kirk: It’s me, Kirk. You know damn well that we are the only two people left in the studio. Could you just open the door?

Olmec: Only if you answer me this randomly selected multiple choice question. In what century … [Interrupted]

Kirk: Damn it, Olmec! Open up the bathroom door! I really have to go!

Olmec: [cough] In what century were the once great Mayans raped, murdered, pillaged and destroyed by their imperialistic Spanish oppressors?

Kirk: Okay. I’m sorry your ancient polytheistic creators and worshippers were wiped cleaned off the map. I’m sorry, but you can hardly blame me. It happened 400 years before I was born.

Olmec: I want reparations.

Kirk: I’m just the host. I can’t re-negotiate your contract. It’s not my fault that you didn’t hire an agent.

Olmec: This sucks Kirk. For each pay period, I only get three sacrifices, and last week it was just two pigeons and a goat [at the brink of tears] I want humans damn it!

Kirk: This is Nickelodeon Studios in Orlando, Florida. We aren’t going to go around, kill humans and sacrifice them for an ancient talking Aztec Nickeldeon God. Come on Olmec, get with the program and open the damn bathroom door!

Olmec: Fine.

[Olmec unlocks the door]
[Kirk opens the door and is attacked by a Temple Guard]

Kirk: Argghhhh …

Olmec: Take that you flamboyant asshole! [pause]
Olmec: By the way, why do my eyes flash red when I talk? Am I stoned?